Sullivan Family Pictures 2014...I love these guys so much!

Mirror, mirror...

I have always struggled with how I look. I have gotten caught up in the idea that physical beauty is what gives you value. That what’s on the outside is more important than what’s on the inside. And let’s face it…the world screams that if we don’t live up to the ideal image, we aren’t worth as much.

I’ve spent hours in front of the mirror, scrutinizing every detail of my face, my body, my hair, my eye color, everything. I’ve felt the anxiety that comes when you worry about how you look and can’t seem to focus on anything else. I’ve been late to church because I couldn’t find the right shoes to go with my outfit. I’ve had the negative talk run through my head: “You are so ugly.” “How could anyone ever fall in love with you when you look like this?” “You’d better start to change something…diet, exercise, suck in your belly, and stick your neck out so you don’t look fat.” I’ve felt that sickening feeling when someone tags you in a photo online, one that you haven’t approved.

I’ve been there. I’m still there…but I think I’m getting better. The thing is, changing a mindset that has been ingrained in our minds our whole lives is hard to do. I blame the media, I blame companies that distribute beauty products, but most of all, I blame Satan. The adversary does not want us to feel beautiful. He wants us to be miserable. Of course he would be behind the sick, money-making schemes and advertising that purposely make us feel like we need to change every imperfection, or perceived imperfection, that we have!

I’ve gotten to the point where I start to notice when lies are being told. I notice when claims to “lose weight fast” and “lose all your wrinkles” are just unrealistic or unhealthy. I find myself getting a little sick when I see, hear, or read ads that aim to convince you that you need to change such and such to be happy. Will changing that such and such make you happy? Maybe for a while…but what will be next? The world will always give you something else to obsess over. It will always find something else you need to fix. You will never achieve physical perfection!

Yet, I still find myself nitpicking my appearance…wanting to try the new diet fads…beating myself up for not trying harder to be skinnier. Like I said, I’m getting better, but I still slip into that old mindset. Change comes slowly. I hope that I’m heading in the right direction.

A few people have told me that my niece, Bailee, looks like me. I love that girl with all of my heart. I never, ever, want her to hear me talk about not liking how I look. What would it teach her? “You kinda look like Aunt Heather, but Aunt Heather doesn’t think she’s beautiful, so you might not be beautiful either.” That thought breaks my heart. I want her to grow up feeling confident in herself! In order for me to be a good influence and example, I need to be confident in myself too. I need to stop the negative talk, both spoken out loud and inside my head.

It helps to keep an eternal perspective. Why are we here? Are we here to show God that we were able to be the most beautiful to look at? Heavens no! We are here to learn, to experience mortality and choose God above all else. He wants us to be happy and accepting of ourselves. He wants us to focus on the things that are most important: family, service, personal growth, being close to Him, etc. When I get caught up in the newest thing that will improve my looks, I forget those things that are most important.  Fortunately, we have a very loving Father in Heaven who understands us. He will always have His arms wide open to embrace us and let us know that He loves us exactly the way we are. 

Dear Bailee,

You are beautiful. You are beautiful because you are a daughter of God. You have a unique personality that is all yours. You are so very loved. Let your light shine. Please, please remember that you are so much more than how you look.

Love,
Aunt Heather

Day..uh...twenty!

*crickets*.......*wind blowing*...........*tumble weed rolls past*........

Okay, so I missed 5 days. Ha ha...I kind of fizzled out. I was finding it a little too stressful to take a nice photo every day, especially when I wasn't feeling any inspiration. 

I've found that I have more of an urge to write about stuff, rather than take pictures. I still want to keep improving my photography, but I probably wont keep up with the photo-a-day stuff. 

Just in case you were wondering where I've been. 

I'll probably write something incredibly witty and clever soon. 

Have a splendid day!

Day Fifteen.

Day 15 - bundle

Oh so cozy...

Day Fourteen.

Day 14 - shiny

My roommate pointed out the other day that you all seem to be getting an apartment tour through a lot of my photos. I promise that once it warms up, I will venture out into the world outside my apartment...but for now I'm having fun finding things inside to photograph.
And now I present to you the cool, shiny, light fixtures in my bathroom. Enjoy.

Till tomorrow...

Day Thirteen

Day 13 - everyday I...

Enough said. :)

Day Twelve.

Day 12 - artwork

For today's photo, I decided to take a picture of some artwork that is very special to me.

Years ago, when I was in young women's, we had an activity that involved cutting pictures out of magazines to create a collage. I remember finding this picture of Christ in one of the magazines and thinking that it was one of the most beautiful depictions of the Savior that I had ever seen. I cut it out and taped it to my wall. It serves as a reminder of what Christ did for us, and what He continues to do for us every day. Since then I have taken it with me wherever I've gone..school..mission..everywhere. Someday I might buy a full sized professional print of this painting, but this little framed magazine page will always hold a special place in my heart.

I hope everyone has had as lovely of a Sunday as I have. :)

Day Eleven

Day 11 - open

"Reading is dreaming with open eyes" -random quote I found through Google. 

Day Ten.

Day 10 - dark

The picture is a little grainy, but we had a lot of fun taking it! Thanks to my awesome brother for modeling for me!

Day Nine.

Day 9 - delicate

I love my little niece with all of my heart. She seems so super teeny, even though she is average weight. Our family is known for having bigger babies, about 9-10 lbs at birth. Having a little 7 lb baby to carry around is very different, and I love it. She is like a little doll. 

Day Eight.

Day 8 - looking up

Kind of a cool perspective. I took this one from the floor. Fun times!

Day Seven.

Day 7 - in between

My roommate has these awesome coasters, so I thought I would use them to get the "in between" effect. Kinda cool!

Day Six.

Day 6 - outdoors

It's cold outside. I am ready for winter to be over. As I looked out the windows to get some idea of what I could photograph for today's prompt, I noticed this beautiful little plant who looked like it wanted to go outside so bad! I feel like this plant and I share the same thought...spring please come fast!

It's alright, little plant. We can endure through these next few months together!

Day Five.

Day 5 - on the counter

I have been super busy all day today, but I finally got around to taking a photo! It's really not that exciting today...but here are some forks and spoons sitting on my counter. Yay!

See ya tomorrow. 

Day Four.

Day 4 - fresh

Today, a brand new fresh life began. :) My beautiful niece, Emily Danielle was born today at 4:42 pm. I am so in love with her already.

Jenna was a trooper, 20 hours of labor, all natural. I'm so proud of her, she'll be an amazing mom! And Matthew is the sweetest dad. 

What a beautiful day this has been.

Day Three

Day 3 - relax

Who else finds puzzles relaxing? I love them. I could spend all day working on a puzzle. This one is Almond Branches in Bloom by Vincent Van Gogh. 1,000 pieces. I'm looking forward to hanging it on the wall when I'm done! 

Day Two.

Day 2 - organize

When I read the prompt for today's challenge, it made me laugh because "organized" is not what you would think if you could see the current state of my bedroom. It's basically going to be a mess until I get a dresser and a desk. I thought about taking time to make everything at least look organized and then take a picture...but let's face it...I'm feeling lazy.

Then I thought about taking a picture of things that my roommate owns, because she is super organized. But there was no inspiration happening there.

And finally, as I was writing in my journal, I thought about how I organize my thoughts. I may not be organized when it comes to the things I own, but I will go crazy if I don't take time out of my day, every day, to sit and organize my thoughts. I can do this by writing in my journal, by praying, by spending some quality alone time with myself and my 1,000 piece puzzle, and even by talking to myself. Do other people regularly talk to themselves? Or am I just crazy? ...Anyway, I thought it would be fun to take a picture of myself "organizing my thoughts".

I hope everyone has a pleasant day. 

Day One.

Day one...a phrase that you hear a whole lot on January 1st. Maybe it's cliche, maybe it gets old, but I love it. I love that people spend time thinking about the new year to come, thinking about what they want to change and who they want to become. Life is about becoming someone better than you were before.
I love making resolutions for the new year, even if they end up fizzling out by February. I think it's a wonderful opportunity to really look at your life and decide what you want.

I have always wanted a blog, for example, and have always had trouble keeping up with one. I also really want to improve my photography. So, I thought to myself, why not start this blog in order to achieve both of these goals? I googled "photography challenge 2014" and found an awesome daily photo challenge that I'm going to participate in. The challenge can be found at http://www.theidearoom.net/2013/12/january-photo-day-challenge-2014.html.

I will be posting a photo (hopefully) everyday. I'm pretty stoked about this. :)

Day 1 - a goal

Yes. Like many people do in January, I am making a goal to get into shape! I am going to do the program found in the book Body by You: The You Are Your Own Gym Guide to Total Women's Fitness by Mark Lauren. My goal is to be able to do all of the advanced exercises by the end of the year. And trust me, it will probably take the whole year. Maybe even longer. But why not? Why not try it? I'm really excited.

Stay tuned for Day 2...