Sullivan Family Pictures 2014...I love these guys so much!

Mirror, mirror...

I have always struggled with how I look. I have gotten caught up in the idea that physical beauty is what gives you value. That what’s on the outside is more important than what’s on the inside. And let’s face it…the world screams that if we don’t live up to the ideal image, we aren’t worth as much.

I’ve spent hours in front of the mirror, scrutinizing every detail of my face, my body, my hair, my eye color, everything. I’ve felt the anxiety that comes when you worry about how you look and can’t seem to focus on anything else. I’ve been late to church because I couldn’t find the right shoes to go with my outfit. I’ve had the negative talk run through my head: “You are so ugly.” “How could anyone ever fall in love with you when you look like this?” “You’d better start to change something…diet, exercise, suck in your belly, and stick your neck out so you don’t look fat.” I’ve felt that sickening feeling when someone tags you in a photo online, one that you haven’t approved.

I’ve been there. I’m still there…but I think I’m getting better. The thing is, changing a mindset that has been ingrained in our minds our whole lives is hard to do. I blame the media, I blame companies that distribute beauty products, but most of all, I blame Satan. The adversary does not want us to feel beautiful. He wants us to be miserable. Of course he would be behind the sick, money-making schemes and advertising that purposely make us feel like we need to change every imperfection, or perceived imperfection, that we have!

I’ve gotten to the point where I start to notice when lies are being told. I notice when claims to “lose weight fast” and “lose all your wrinkles” are just unrealistic or unhealthy. I find myself getting a little sick when I see, hear, or read ads that aim to convince you that you need to change such and such to be happy. Will changing that such and such make you happy? Maybe for a while…but what will be next? The world will always give you something else to obsess over. It will always find something else you need to fix. You will never achieve physical perfection!

Yet, I still find myself nitpicking my appearance…wanting to try the new diet fads…beating myself up for not trying harder to be skinnier. Like I said, I’m getting better, but I still slip into that old mindset. Change comes slowly. I hope that I’m heading in the right direction.

A few people have told me that my niece, Bailee, looks like me. I love that girl with all of my heart. I never, ever, want her to hear me talk about not liking how I look. What would it teach her? “You kinda look like Aunt Heather, but Aunt Heather doesn’t think she’s beautiful, so you might not be beautiful either.” That thought breaks my heart. I want her to grow up feeling confident in herself! In order for me to be a good influence and example, I need to be confident in myself too. I need to stop the negative talk, both spoken out loud and inside my head.

It helps to keep an eternal perspective. Why are we here? Are we here to show God that we were able to be the most beautiful to look at? Heavens no! We are here to learn, to experience mortality and choose God above all else. He wants us to be happy and accepting of ourselves. He wants us to focus on the things that are most important: family, service, personal growth, being close to Him, etc. When I get caught up in the newest thing that will improve my looks, I forget those things that are most important.  Fortunately, we have a very loving Father in Heaven who understands us. He will always have His arms wide open to embrace us and let us know that He loves us exactly the way we are. 

Dear Bailee,

You are beautiful. You are beautiful because you are a daughter of God. You have a unique personality that is all yours. You are so very loved. Let your light shine. Please, please remember that you are so much more than how you look.

Love,
Aunt Heather

Day..uh...twenty!

*crickets*.......*wind blowing*...........*tumble weed rolls past*........

Okay, so I missed 5 days. Ha ha...I kind of fizzled out. I was finding it a little too stressful to take a nice photo every day, especially when I wasn't feeling any inspiration. 

I've found that I have more of an urge to write about stuff, rather than take pictures. I still want to keep improving my photography, but I probably wont keep up with the photo-a-day stuff. 

Just in case you were wondering where I've been. 

I'll probably write something incredibly witty and clever soon. 

Have a splendid day!

Day Fifteen.

Day 15 - bundle

Oh so cozy...

Day Fourteen.

Day 14 - shiny

My roommate pointed out the other day that you all seem to be getting an apartment tour through a lot of my photos. I promise that once it warms up, I will venture out into the world outside my apartment...but for now I'm having fun finding things inside to photograph.
And now I present to you the cool, shiny, light fixtures in my bathroom. Enjoy.

Till tomorrow...

Day Thirteen

Day 13 - everyday I...

Enough said. :)

Day Twelve.

Day 12 - artwork

For today's photo, I decided to take a picture of some artwork that is very special to me.

Years ago, when I was in young women's, we had an activity that involved cutting pictures out of magazines to create a collage. I remember finding this picture of Christ in one of the magazines and thinking that it was one of the most beautiful depictions of the Savior that I had ever seen. I cut it out and taped it to my wall. It serves as a reminder of what Christ did for us, and what He continues to do for us every day. Since then I have taken it with me wherever I've gone..school..mission..everywhere. Someday I might buy a full sized professional print of this painting, but this little framed magazine page will always hold a special place in my heart.

I hope everyone has had as lovely of a Sunday as I have. :)